My husband was sober for about 20 years when he relapsed, right around the time we moved across the country so I could start my dream job, which I worked in for about 2 years. I am about to get laid off due to budget cuts, but I also know that living with his alcoholism drained my energy and zapped my concentration. He is currently in a 90 day residential program and sincerely wants to be there and work on himself. I have been carrying the brunt of the adult tasks in our relationship for the last 15 years, and I know I can’t do it anymore. But I also don’t want to leave him, nor allow his behavior to continue to impact me. I’m learning about recovery-friendly workplaces, but is there any programs that provide workplace support systems for the caregivers/partners of those in recovery?
My husband is in treatment and I'm about to get laid off
Hey there @lilyelgato - thanks for sharing here and I’m sorry to hear that you’re getting laid off! On top of the stress of your husband being in rehab, it’s so much for one person to carry. You’re absolutely taking the right steps by reaching out for support, even if it’s just to first ask the question of how to find support!
I haven’t heard of these types of programs for caregivers/partners, unfortunately, at least not specific to substance use disorder and recovery. There may be something you can find for more general mental health support. I think as you’re looking for a new job, definitely take into consideration the work environment, people, and how the workplace in general values work/life balance and mental health. Flexibility in work schedules and supervisors who are understanding about taking time off if needed would be helpful.
I think what you’re experiencing is something that many people in the Village can relate to. Actually, I think many partners, whether their loved one has SUD or not, can relate to having to carry the brunt of adult tasks and mental load in the home! With your husband in early recovery, you may continue carrying the brunt as he focuses on his recovery once returning home. Finding support through therapy, groups, hobbies, etc can definitely help. Have you looked into individual therapy? We The Village also offers support groups and training to help you better communicate with your loved one and take care of yourself. You can learn more here.
It’s great that your husband is in recovery and that you’re taking steps to heal, as well. Please keep us updated on how things are going!
A note from the Village
: Our Coaches are CRAFT certified and uniquely expert in training families to face addiction and get through recovery together. If you are interested in additional support, check out our online CRAFT programs at wethevillage.co.
Thanks so much for the suggestions! I have a really great therapist but I could always use some additional coaching around CRAFT and self care.
That’s great to hear, @lilyelgato! What are some ways in which your therapist has been helping? Let me know if you have any questions about CRAFT, or if there’s anything you specifically are interested in. 