New here - BF in Rehab

rehab
#1

Hi everyone. So happy I stumbled across this group.

My boyfriend of 2.5 years entered a rehab facility in mid May due to his sports gambling addiction. He gets out in mid August and we’re both 23. There is no contact for the entirety of this period, I just hear about him and he hears about me by communicating with his Mom, as he has calls with his parents once a week.

I have so many questions and thoughts about this

I’m really looking to hear any advice. I knew about his struggles with this for about a year. He has never taken my money or his parents money, just the money he works for. I never even really knew how much he was struggling until he told me he quit his job and was going to leave in two weeks.

Going forward, how can I be supportive? I know I need to protect myself and I do have my guard up slightly as we’ve been dating for a while and I do see a future with him. So any advice on additional things to think about or good conversations to have would be so appreciated. Thank you everyone! Even just joining this page has been healing in a bunch of ways.

#2

Love your post and your name @SupportiveGF - support from loved ones is really useful for those working through recovery and I love you’ve proclaimed that in your name! Yes, it can be challenging, and they do need to be really focused on their recovery, but if you’re willing to walk along side you can learn a lot too.

We cover proven strategies in our family programs and I’d add here: keeping your expectations in check - know it can be harder before easier, and recovery can take longer than we think (or hope) but that our role in supporting a loved one to focus on their positive progress, and leaving stigma and judgement out of it can be incredibly positive forces.

People can and do change their distructive behaviors in positive ways, and acknowledging and having things out in the open can help, so stay optimistic and I’d suggest using this time to take care of you so you’ll be ready to roll with whatever comes as he moves out of rehab.

#3

Hey @SupportiveGF - really glad you found this space and have found it helpful already. How have things been going these last couple of weeks? What are ways you’ve been able to take care of yourself while your boyfriend is in rehab?

Below is a helpful topic that discusses relationships post-rehab: