How do I support my spouse now that he relapsed seemingly out of nowhere. How do I not be afraid that this means the cycle starts over…
He completely changed again, straight to paranoia, everything he’s said to me the last 40 some days is out the window…how do I remain positive, what am I supposed to say or not say,
Will anything I do make a difference, I can’t go back to the way things were before…
Does this mean his brain has to completely restart the healing process, like is one time enough to send him all the way back to start as far as his brain health??
Relapse from Meth on Day 43 out of recovery
Kdawn
#1
I wish I had something positive say about recovery, but I do not. His addiction and so called recovery has absolutely destroyed everything. We do not even have a relationship nor did we ever as far as I am concerned now. I waited around for nothing but a shell. Which is an insult to shells.
At this point I am isolated and have no friends. His whole disease took over our lives. I have young adult children coming of age and my first grandbaby. Unfortunately, I have tried to have relationships with highly dysfunctional men. Being a mother to a grown daughter her father an addict and still using. at least he let us go on. We were high school sweethearts.
After my daughter was grown I married a sex offender 21 years ago in ignorance. The marriage lasted 1 year with 1 son and pregnant with another. Forced to raise two sons with this perversion for a father by the horrible legal system that is even worse now… My marriage should have been annulled and he should be in prison to this day for his original crimes before me not to mention what he has done thereafter. Rapists and murdereres do not change.
Now we come to the last relationship a so called recovering addict that swept me off my feet after being single for 15 years independent and somewhat well off.
These people are choosing to go down paths that they know are bad for everyone over and over again. We know where this leads several generations ago. Infidelity is infedility they are repsonsible for their actions on and off drugs.
I am by no means perfect and have made similar bad decisions which led to broken relations and hurt people. I do not repeat these bad decisions because of the bad outcome the first time.
For someone to come into my life and continuously lie cheat use drugs and harm others is not ok. If they want to use drugs with others and act in the same behaviors with similar in agreement they are completely entitled to do this.
But to continously trample through another persons life that nasically babysits them and spend taxpauyer money going to treatment after detox after hospital after treatment so and so forth infinity is ridiculous.
At this point the self entitlement is way too much for me. I have not an easy life at all and I no longer have any empathy for those that harm others.
I do not mean to disappoint anyone on here. But I would rather be alone than be put through any more hell from another human being at all.
My family has had success in recovery early on in teen young adult years. My daughter a victim of a crime and thereafter addict. We took her to a facility for help and went through the entire process with her. Back then the entire family was treated because the entire family is sick. These types of facilities are long gone and the medical industry is in poor condition now compared to then.
Go into this relationship with a person that was supposedly in recovery being supportive I am at a loss. For this has been no different for me than having no relationship with two fethers of my 3 children that are still using and a child molester. Deviant behavior is deviant behavior. I have yet to see any man change.