Rules about communicating when a loved one is in rehab?



My loved one broke down and said she needed rehab 3 days ago and was on a plane the next day to a center, assuming still in detox.

What are the general rules about communication? Before going she said she know she will probably be gone “at least a few months?” and i am not sure if trying to contact or send care packages is unhelpful or if we should let them initiate contact. Her ex-spouse who is supportive and has children with her handled the insurance and coordination so I am not even sure what center she is at, just the city.

Some background this is severe opiate and alcohol addiction that has been going on for a long time.

Also, she has a very toxic ex-boyfriend who is on again/off again, and I am afraid he is going to manipulate her into leaving. His response when she told him she was going “but what about me? you don’t need rehab you go to work everyday.” He is also an opiate addict.


Thanks for sharing here :slight_smile: what happens once a loved one is in rehab is a popular topic so you are not alone in your questioning.

A couple ideas for you…

  • When someone is in rehab and working through detox / early recovery it takes a super human effort just to begin that healing process and begin to live without the substance they’ve been relying on - therefore, if their communication out is limited we can know likely why that is. They are putting all their energy into the healing they so badly need.

  • Still, connection is important to recovery and as someone who cares for them our support and care is often extremely helpful to their recovery - showing we believe in them, see the good in them, being a reflection and example of living happily and healthily is very useful. So you can do a lot of good by staying in communication, they need all the support they can get to make it through this tough time.

I hope it’s helpful for you to take the second point with the first as principals to guide you. Let me know what you think <3

Did you manage to make contact since you posted this earlier?