The Newcomer's Welcome: What brings you to Village?

welcome
newcomer
#200

Hi,
I’m new. I have a 16 year old son that was in treatment for 14 weeks. He was smoking LOTS of pot and basically stopped doing all of his school work. He was a bear at home and came and went as he pleased. We yelled, cried and ignored him and nothing helped. He is home now and I am having a hard time trusting him. He is clean, but I still see the defiant personality coming through. I can also see that he is trying, so am torn as to how to move past my anger and hurt. He will continue to see a drug and alcohol counselor along with a mental health counselor and Psychiatrist. He struggles with school work due to ADD, depression and anxiety. He has lots of friends and likes to be with them.
Thanks for being a place for me to vent. :slight_smile:

#201

Warm #WednesdayWelcome to our 8 new members this week: @Kohan_82 @Mija @Obsidian @Teenygreen @Sandbec22 @Jmrmichelle7 @BridgetGrace @Robnelzabeth
If you haven’t yet, please take 5 minutes to:

  1. Say ‘hi!’ on this thread & tell us how the Community can best support you.
  2. Find one question that you feel comfortable to answer! Every question or answer added honestly makes this place a more valuable resource for all .

Don’t hesitate to reach out if you have any questions! I’m here & happy to help!

Also, love to invite you to join us tonight Wednesday 31st July @ 6pm EST - join us ONLINE for our group meetup - to share and learn together.

Do you find yourself questioning your boundaries? And how to deal with a loved one’s resistance?

We’ll cover CRAFT tools - how to: Set and Maintain Personal Barriers & Rolling with Resistance - techniques to keep your cool in the face of frustration.

RSVP to join tonight’s meetup via this link: HERE :heart:

#216

Hi @Laura thanks for joining us here and sharing :slight_smile: Recovery and healing from addictive substance use takes time, how have things been going lately and how are you feeling now?

#202

Hello! I’m a 35 y.o. child of two addicts. Here looking to connect with other people who understand. Currently struggling with a relapse of my Mom whose been highly functioning for a lot of years and has, what I would call, relapsed. I was raised in “the program” from a very young age, but have never attended an Al-Anon meeting, etc. Just out looking for some coping resources and people

#203

Welcome here @Sandbec22 glad you’ve joined us, hope we can provide some support as we’ve certainly been there in all different shapes and sizes :slight_smile: let me know if you have any questions as you find your way around the topics and message boards and if you’re looking for something you’re not finding!

If you’re up for joining our meetup tonight we’re talking Boundaries (RSVP HERE) and next week is The Science of addiction, trust & deceit (RSVP HERE), followed by Self Care (RSVP HERE) in case any of those sound on target for you and you want to connect live with us :heart_decoration: :

#204

Warm #WednesdayWelcome to our 10 new members this week: @Mashley @Kiersten @bendandbreak @Felicia_Ann_Crocker @Kpratt @Reginal @Liza @Heatherdlc @atomkramer @Ariel
If you haven’t yet, please take 5 minutes to:

  1. Say ‘hi!’ on this thread & tell us how the Community can best support you.
  2. Find one question that you feel comfortable to answer! Every question or answer added honestly makes this place a more valuable resource for all .

Don’t hesitate to reach out if you have any questions! I’m here & happy to help!

Also, love to invite you to join us tonight Wednesday 7th August @ 6pm EST - join us ONLINE for our group meetup - to share and learn together.

Do you know what addiction does to the brain and how that affects truth and lies?

UNDERSTANDING THE REASONS THEY MAY LIE CAN HELP BRIDGE THE GAP OF BROKEN TRUST AND ENCOURAGE HONESTY
A common feature of substance problems is not being truthful. It is almost an inevitable part of managing compulsions. It is very hard to meet the needs of daily living while at the same time meeting the demands of compulsive behaviors. Learn more on this tonight!

We’ll cover CRAFT principles: The Science of Addiction + How to Handle Trust & Deceit - knowledge and skills to navigate trust issues and lying in a loved one’s addiction and recovery.

RSVP to join tonight’s meetup via this link: HERE

#205

Warm #WednesdayWelcome to our 5 new members this week: @Sarah_Wanless @EMast @Ladybug @JDodson518 @robilynn
If you haven’t yet, please take 5 minutes to:

  1. Say ‘hi!’ on this thread & tell us how the Community can best support you.
  2. Find one question that you feel comfortable to answer! Every question or answer added honestly makes this place a more valuable resource for all .

Don’t hesitate to reach out if you have any questions! I’m here & happy to help!

Also, love to invite you to join us tonight Wednesday 14th August @ 6pm EST - join us ONLINE for our group meetup - to share and learn together.

Have you lately felt a loss of yourself? Experienced feelings of obligation, guilt or responsibility? Noticed the identity of your relationship changing?

Then tonight’s the topic for you…
This week we’re focused on the most important topic…YOU!
You deserve to thrive, plus you can’t help anyone when depleted. Learn skills to repair your nervous system and share with peers. These tactics and tools will help you thrive in the long run - important given how long recovery takes. Just RSVP HERE

#206

Warm #WednesdayWelcome to our 13 new members this week:
If you haven’t yet, please take 5 minutes to: @Marina_Tarasova @emily1995 @Karenm @Bluebell84 @Erica_Weisberg @Ruby @Familiesintrauma @JULIKA @chichini @Bethany1982 @horton75 @MiaP @Tonya_Clemens

  1. Say ‘hi!’ on this thread & tell us how the Community can best support you.
  2. Find one question that you feel comfortable to answer! Every question or answer added honestly makes this place a more valuable resource for all .

Also, tonight we’re diving into the first of the last 3 topics of this cycle and it’s a great place to jump in and get your questions answered about the recovery process and learn the need-to-know information about Treatment & Recovery.

Here’s what’s up next:

  • (tonight) Treatment Options from a CRAFT perspective, note that this goes well beyond just rehab and AA and are for the full recovery lifecycle
  • next week will be Motivations and Making the Invitation to Treatment, again, beyond rehab and crisis control but more for ongoing recovery
  • the following week Relapse Worries & what to do with them.

If you will join us tonight simple register HERE and I’ll send over the dial in details and the materials for the meetup.
We’re always here to talk one-one if preferred, and please do let me know if there’s a way we can be more helpful for you.
All my best,
Jane

#207

hi all - i am eager to read and learn from all of you as I am grieving and working to understand my brothers addiction and mental illnesses. we’ve lived a very beautiful life but due to many different factors my brother has gone down a very dangerous, sad and scary path. Right now, I am here to listen more than I am to contribute since this is all very new to me and I am still working to understand the specific situation I am in.

i would appreciate support in helping to understand those who abuse recreational drugs such as marijuana that has lead them to cocaine plus abusing other prescription drugs such as xanax.

i feel very nervous posting this but hope that this community can help me, help my brother and give me guidance on how to find acceptance of things I cannot control and input on how i can positively impact him while respecting my own mental health and boundaries.

in addition, i would love to know how I can help my other loved ones that are also working to help my brother - i feel helpless as the big sister that is 23 and working to live her own life as well. it makes my heart hurt see my mom put her life on pause so that she can help save my brother. i know there is a light at the tunnel but i want to run to it rather than walk towards it because i want to see the better days for my brother and my family.

#215

Thanks for being here and sharing with us @emily1995 we definitely have skills to help you navigate your role in this journey and best support your brother and your family unit. Hope you take part in some of our teachings via the meetups & coursework soon :slight_smile:

#208

Ivè just foundthevillage recently. I suffered a family trauma and realised there wasnt really a lot of support for families. So I set up a small charity to change that. Having had a father who was addicted to various things, then finding out my daughter is now struggling with the same things - It has been a huge learning curve for me to go from being the daughter to the mother and my views have definitely changed more to the empathy side - however I also believe in healthy boundaries too and have had to use them with my daughter a and it is not easy.

#209

Warm #WednesdayWelcome to our 10 new members this week:
If you haven’t yet, please take 5 minutes to: @Carly @SadMom91 @Mmoore @Automatikjoy @dont_wanna_say @tleo121413 @AEK2019 @Maggie1 @kosbo @Anne1

  1. Say ‘hi!’ on this thread & tell us how the Community can best support you.
  2. Find one question that you feel comfortable to answer! Every question or answer added honestly makes this place a more valuable resource for all .

Also, tonight is our weekly meetup hosted online.
This meetup is for you if you are someone who is:

  • looking for support and hope in loving someone through addiction or recovery
  • wanting to see them build healthier habits and make healthier choices
  • thinking they could benefit from some more professional care or treatment
  • you might even be feeling you’ve tried everything to try to get them into treatment
    If you feel any of the above or just want to be among those who get it and feel hopeful again, please join us tonight. RSVP HERE and you’ll receive the dial in details and materials for tonight’s meetup.
    This knowledge and support is powerful and is designed for Y O U !

We’re always here to talk one-one if preferred, and please do let me know if there’s a way we can be more helpful for you.
All my best,
Jane

#214

Thanks so much for sharing @Familiesintrauma and for being here, addiction is a painful process (literally, since it is defined as continued use despite harm) one thing I know for sure is that you are not alone in this and that recovery is possible and that we can support positive change. I hope you keep sharing your story with this supportive community and consider joining into some of our coursework / teaching / support designed for you <3

#210

Warm #WednesdayWelcome to our 4 new members this week:
If you haven’t yet, please take 5 minutes to: @pdefranc @Kimmie @Froo @barbaraberg

  1. Say ‘hi!’ on this thread & tell us how the Community can best support you.
  2. Find one question that you feel comfortable to answer! Every question or answer added honestly makes this place a more valuable resource for all .

Also, tonight is our weekly meetup hosted online.
This meetup is for you if you are someone who has wondered how to handle a loved one’s relapse in recovery, join us tonight to know how to think about it, when to be concerned, and what actions to take - useful knowledge and skills for you, no matter where your loved one is at right now.

We’re always here to talk one-one if preferred, and please do let me know if there’s a way we can be more helpful for you.
All my best,
Jane

#211

Warm #WednesdayWelcome to our 11 new members this week:
If you haven’t yet, please take 5 minutes to: @Diane_Power_Peecher @Danielapa3 @samanthalutz @Kbremiller @Alananccc @Peggy_H @BlingEternity @ronbo @Chrissy_Chillino @melbrew @trmoody71

  1. Say ‘hi!’ on this thread & tell us how the Community can best support you.
  2. Find one question that you feel comfortable to answer! Every question or answer added honestly makes this place a more valuable resource for all .

Also, tonight is our weekly meetup hosted online.
This meetup is for you if you want to get grounding in the most fundamental tool that underpins our ability to stay connected to a loved one in addiction or recovery and engage others in supporting us and their recovery. It’s called Positive Communication and we hope you’ll join us for it - simply register HERE and we’ll talk tonight :slight_smile:

If you’re ready to feel better, more hopeful and confident about your role in all of this - regardless of where they are at and their ups and downs - then you’ll want to consider enrolling in our full course curriculum and support this time around. You can do so HERE.

The enrollment window is now open and it kicks off next week. You’ll get the full course curriculum which includes the fundamental skills designed for you, group meetups, one-ones that tailor the topics to your situations and equally important - the practices to heal your nervous system from the chronic worry and stress. All this will serve you for life, knowing recovery is a winding road.

We’re always here to talk one-one if preferred, and please do let me know if there’s a way we can be more helpful for you.
All my best,
Jane

#217

Hello! I’m here to focus on & stay in touch with my recovery; enabling & co-dependency. Not go back to my old habits. I hope to meet & learn from the other wives that have gone before me. Liz

#218

Thanks for sharing @BlingEternity - great to have you with us! Anyone in your support network you’d like to invite in here? It helps to have those who are motivated to support us on the same page!

#212

Hello, I am Tia Renee Moody. I am a substance abuser. I have never liked myself. I want to release myself to live; forgive myself to love; forget myself to enjoy…

I am grateful for this community because I need help along this recovering journey to living life to the fullest.

#213

Thanks so much for sharing Tia <3 we are a community with loved ones in addiction recovery and know how hard the recovery road is but that it is also possible and worth it. I hope you get something out of being a part of this community <3

#313

Hi Tia,
I haven’t been on this site in several months but happened to read your thread today.
I am a mom of an adult son that has greatly struggled with alcohol abuse. He is an amazing young man that hasn’t liked who he is as well. He has had a huge problem with self worth and confidence, yet he doesn’t come across like that to others at all. He’s very successful in business and has had long term relationships with girlfriends, etc. His dad, brother and I love him dearly and are close with him. He is so closed with his emotions and always says he’s fine. But, he numbs the horrible feelings that he experiences, with alcohol.
The other day, he had had a lot to drink and in the midst of our conversation I said to Him, “You are a very good person!” His reply was, “Am I really, Mom? Do you really think so?” . My answer was an adamant “I know so!” But, the issue isn’t that I know this, he has to know this!”
I, personally, went through a time in my life where my inner voice told me over and over that I wasn’t good enough or I didn’t have what others had to give, etc. What changed this self talk for me was a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, who loves me unconditionally and has shown me my purpose. I have a purpose that isn’t to be compared with other people and their purposes. Also, when I focus on my purpose in life, it keeps me from hearing the negative self talk that once overpowered any positive self talk. I learned that I am not perfect, I still have my faults but my focus isn’t on them any longer.
The reason I tell you this isn’t to preach or push my beliefs on you, it is because this negative self talk is a lie from the pit of hell. Drown out these lies with positive self talk! Nobody else could change this for me just as they can’t for my son or for you. I had to be the one to do it, but I know for me, it was the love that I experienced from Christ that showed me my value, my purpose and allowed me to set goals. The purpose and goals are the tools that keep me on track. I don’t personally have the addiction aspect but I chose 20 years ago to stop drinking, as it was starting to control my life. That was a great decision and my clear mind has given me the ability to work through the rest of my issues.
You have much to offer to yourself and others, Tia. I can say this without even knowing you because each of us has something to give, we all have a purpose and we all have value. I recommend you write down what you have learned from what you’ve been through. What are your strengths from your experiences? You wouldn’t believe how much another person can gain from what you answered. Search out how to help others with what you’ve learned and then start writing a list of what you , yourself, value about yourself.
Others need you! That is value right there!
Be easy on yourself in your weaknesses and don’t forget we all have them! My son hides his weaknesses, pain and his struggles so well and he could use the help of others that have been through what he is going through! I have my position in his life but it definitely doesn’t take the place of having a friend, a mentor and accountability partner who have so much good to add to the lives of those that are struggling.
I hope and pray that you are in a good place right now!
Love yourself wherever you are, you are worth it!