The Newcomer's Welcome: What brings you to Village?

welcome
newcomer
#11

Hi everyone, I am here to connect and learn how to help myself to be able to help my fiance continue with the good fight. Hes over 6 months sober and the past still haunts us at times. We have been together for three years now and I have learned alot. Maybe I can help and br inspired by others, or help others to. Karmen

#15

Iā€™m new to this platform - Iā€™m still learning the ropes - but Iā€™m no stranger to addiction, recovery, and codependency. Iā€™ve married 2 addicts - the first I left, the second I was ready to when he chose treatment. Heā€™s got almost 7 years clean now. I knew I wanted to help other women ā€˜find themselvesā€™ when he got to be about 3 years clean and I was still a miserable B****.

So I did MY WORK. Iā€™d done alanon and celebrate recovery and they were incredibly helpful, as was traditional psychotherapy. But something was missing. Long story short I met a woman who was a life coach, and fast forward today - and Iā€™m a life coach :slight_smile:

For the last 2 years Iā€™ve had a block around the word ā€œcoachā€. In my head (you know the B%^$# that lives up there - mine is named Negative Nelly) - I could hear ā€œYouā€™re really only good at f-ing things upā€¦ And beating the shit out of yourself for itā€

I felt as if a coach is someone who knows about the game (sports reference) and can help others adjust their technique and plays to be a winner. Since most of the time I feel like Iā€™m winging it - Iā€™ve had a really hard time embracing ā€œCoachā€ as a title. It was an awesome fit when I was the self-proclaimed #coachforwivesofaddicts and focused strictly on those in relationships where addiction was part of the hubbyā€™s journey. But letā€™s be real - when the one you love is in active addiction, it can be brutal to work on YOU.

I told Nelly to cut the shit. Because even IF it was true that Iā€™m good a F-ing things up. And beating the sh!t out of myself for it. Iā€™M MADE TO LIFT OTHERS and remind them NOT to beat themselves up. To remind them of the truth.

So- I am a accountability and support partner. Why partner? Because Iā€™m committed to the journey WITH you. Not as a leader, but as a kind of guide. I can see things from another perspective. Ask you to dig deeper and ponder the hard questions. Iā€™m a neutral third party who only has your growth and success as a goal.

Together, we can shift the trajectory of your life.

I look forward to getting to know you all, and contributing to the healing of your wounds. <3

#12

Thanks for joining us here @Alldayswife :slight_smile: Iā€™m in the same boat with a husband in recovery, itā€™s tough but weā€™re getting there!

#16

Iā€™m new to the group my son has struggled for 6 yrs currently in treatment for the 6th time ( relapseā€¦ while not encouragedā€¦ should however be expected) Iā€™ve learned a lot I want to help others who struggle and their families

#18

Welcome @Lesley_Cooney, so glad to have you here! Learning about substance use and and taking that knowledge and experience to help others is extremely helpful and powerful! :smile:

#17

Itā€™s hard for us who do not have the brain dis-ease that our loved ones have.
We only have our perspective from how our brain works and our common sense, morals, ethics and values that have not been Hyjacked

Itā€™s hard, really hard butā€¦ thatā€™s why all us strangers are here right? We are desperate for help, support, answers.

Please understand that the person you know so well, love, have grown with over the years has had their brain invaded which in turn does not allow them to make good decisions for themselves. While we can not recover for them we can however educate ourselves so we do not get tricked by the drugs that have taken over our loved ones brains. It is our responsibility to show compassion, love and support in an effort to get our loved ones to ā€œchooseā€ to recover. However, should they not choose to since their brains are severely hyjacked by the drugs, please know this does not give them the ability to make good decisions for their own well-being or the well-being of anyone around them. This is when we must take action by forcing them into treatment for the safety of themselves and any living person that may come in contact with them.

Please try to remember that when a human brain is hyjacked by drugs this is not your loved one you are battling this is the drug that has invaded their brains ( for whatever reason ) and their only hope to escape is for someone who loves and cares deeply about them to invest the time, energy and yes maybe some money to get them the help they need. I wish we lived in a different time where we had more resources to help us but also know, while not fast enoughā€¦progress is being made little by little but in the mean time please continue to educate yourself as much as possible in order to find resources to help your loved one and support for you as you go on this journey to helping by being an instrument to help bring about peace in our world.

#20

Welcome to Village Q&A, @a.vigilryan @Pause_2_Balance @aquestioningsoul!

If you need a hand navigating the platform, feel free to send me a message. Iā€™d be happy to show you around!

We are so glad youā€™re here.

#22

Extending a warm Wednesday Welcome to @Gina1 and @stayhopeful244! When you feel comfortable, weā€™d love for you to introduce yourself and share what brings you to this community?

If you need a hand to navigate the platform, feel free to send me a message. Iā€™d be happy to show you around! We are so glad youā€™re here.

#95

Thank you very much I am trying to understand How It works around here

#23

Not sure how to write on here yet. Iā€™m here because my boyfriend is a alcoholic plus he is bi-polar and has ptsd he is a veteran and I want to help him not to drink but I let him stay with me and I let him drink at my house because I saw him passed out in a parking lot I wanted him to be safe and his drinking has gotten worse

#96

Totally @Lucimara - it takes a minute to familiarize yourself with the platform! I made this little ā€˜get startedā€™ tutorial about how to post, answer, and comment which hopefully might help a little!

#24

Thanks for joining us @Tooshort0430 you are among friends who get it here. And youā€™re doing it right :slight_smile: simply post a new question to start a conversation about something going on in your current situation that you want suppport around or to hear otherā€™s experiences on and read others questions to contribute your support and experiences that can be helpful to others to hear. We are not alone in this battle and this is the place to share openly and know weā€™ll get it.

#25

Welcome to the Village Community, @Dean_Acton @Tooshort0430 and @Shine! We are so grateful to have you here.

Thank you @Tooshort0430 for introducing yourself! @Dean_Acton and @Shine, we invite you to do the same when you feel comfortable. What brings you to the Village Community? How can we best support you?

If you need a hand to navigate the platform, feel free to send me a direct message. Iā€™d be happy to show you around!

#26

Hey guys, Iā€™m Dean. Iā€™m here because Iā€™ve been dealing with opioid addiction for only alittle over a year now with my fiance. In the beginning I was very naive about it, had no idea what I was really getting into. Since then Iā€™ve then Iā€™ve seen the struggle first hand. Iā€™ve watched her battle with the conflict, steal and lie to me, Iā€™ve lost my financial stability to it. Iā€™ve supported her through battling with roboting local clinics. Seen her go through withdrawal and post acute withdrawal syndrome. Itā€™s been a tough ride and my life has changed greatly because of it, I have times where I battle with anxiety and depression about where my life is at right now because of it but Iā€™ve held on and things are finally starting to look up. Finding a community and being able to hear and share my experiences with people who have been there has definitely helped me stay grounded through everything.

#33

Thanks for sharing @Dean_Acton and weā€™re so glad youā€™re here! Sometimes our role supporting our loved ones comes hand in hand with increased anxiety and depression, so you sharing that things are finally starting to look up is wonderful to hear, it also offers hope to others who arenā€™t quite there yet.

#27

I am the mama of a beautiful 28yr old son whoā€™s experienced substance abuse. While the use/abuse and self medicating started slow - the ramifications of the full blown disease were fast and furious. We started the ā€œrecoveryā€ journey together yet separate about 3 years ago. I have learned SO much and am drawn to advocating for those affected by addiction. Im the Administrator for the largest Facebook group ā€œAffected By Addiction Support Groupā€ and am constantly searching for additional tools and outreach. My son has over one year clean and sober, works at a prominent Recovery organization and has also dealt with underlying mental health issues which figure prominently in the journey. HOWEVER - with all the support, the advocacy and miracles I witness daily, as a mom who has witnessed her childā€™s struggle, Iā€™m always on guard. The goal for my on going recovery, is continued connection and less fearful thinkingā€¦fear & over analyzing can be paralyzing. Happy to be here

#100

thank you for the hope that things are finally starting to lookup for you after holding on through all you are going through. I too am battling with anxiety and depression about my own life choices because of my husbands fails to overcome his alcohol and gambling addictions. Living with addiction is making me a stronger person. Thank you

#28

Welcome @adoumeng weā€™re so glad to have you here with us - sounds like you have a wealth of wisdom that can be helpful for this community. Every share helps in our aim to be just that - a tool for the friends and family to get the constructive support and answers they need from both shared peer experiences and professional peers weighing in with evidence-based information and skills to take action on.

All this to make sure we can be the best allies to our loved oneā€™s struggling with substance use and / or addiction. And youā€™re right, itā€™s not a treatment and done kind of thing. I know from my personal experience 3 years into my loved oneā€™s recovery that relapse can and does still happen (likeā€¦this past week :frowning: ).

We look forward to hearing more from you <3

#30

Iā€™m here because I have 2 daughters with addiction issues. My youngest will be twenty one in a month and she has been in recovery for over a year and just relapsed. My older daughter is 25 and she has had drug abuse problems for about 10 years and just admitted she has a problem recently and started on the path to recovery. My younger daughter got into trouble with the law and is on probation for 4 more years. The worry and stress is too much sometimes. Other times I feel a great need to use what I have learned to help others.

#29

Welcome here @adoumeng! Thank you for sharing so honestly about your (and your sonā€™s) hard-earned experience, successes, and ongoing learning.

Your goal echoes our sentiment that the opposite of addiction is connection. Very glad to be connecting with you here, and looking forward to hearing more from you. :hugs: