It’s a rocky road and I know what you mean about it at times being too much and also wanting to help others, that’s what brought us here. Where here with you <3 So glad you’re here with us @Marybeth thanks for sharing.
The Newcomer's Welcome: What brings you to Village?
Catavila
#51
My son who is 25 is an addict and my daughter who is 20. They both started to get in trouble with the law because of substance abuse since they were on their 16’s. She has been on probation for over a year as an adult. He just got his two kids taken away by the state. I have his kids, it is hard raising them on my own. He went into recovery on his own, has been clean for 30 days. My daughter went into recovery, this is her third time, because probation order her to go. I was going to alanon and PAL (parents of addictive love ones) the groups helped me to know I’m not alone.
katie
#34
Extending the warmest Wednesday Welcome to @C_Stoike @Karen_Bruno-Pepson @Recovery @Marybeth @adoumeng @JGibbs who joined our community this week! It’s an honor to have you here.
If you haven’t yet, please take a minute to introduce yourself. We’d love to know what brings you here, and how the Community can best support you?
If you need a tour of the platform, feel free to send me a direct message. I’d be happy to show you around! 
Allykatts11
#37
Hello, I am a recovering addict (heroin and alcohol). I have 2 1/2 years clean and met my boyfriend in NA. He had years clean but relapsed 10 months ago on heroin. After months of struggle, he finally entered inpatient treatment last week. So now I’m learning how to be a supportive SO while keeping my own recovery at the forefront. It’s been difficult to separate these two roles to best help my boyfriend, and it’s a new experience for me. Also I would like to help anyone who needs more insight into an addicts mind. Thanks!
Jane
#38
Amazing @Allykatts11 thanks so much for joining us here. Can’t thank you enough for being open to sharing your wisdom with us <3 <3 we’re in his together 
katie
#39
@Allykatts11 We are so glad you found this Community, and so grateful for your willingness to share your knowledge & ongoing learning with us here! Thinking of you & your boyfriend as you enter this new season.
katie
#40
Extending another warm Wednesday Welcome to @Barb_Sugrue @TinySatan08 @Allykatts11 @lm15042 @padge @spacetime @fredleam and @Karenf! We’re so grateful you joined us this week.
If you haven’t yet, please take 5 minutes to:
- Say ‘hi!’ on this thread & tell us how the Community can best support you.
- Complete your member profile by selecting the wheel icon after you click on your icon in the upper right corner.
Don’t hesitate to reach out if you have any questions! I’m here & happy to help.
Dean_Acton
#46
@Allykatts11 My fiance is struggling with recovering from Heroine. Insight into what really goes on inside her head in terms of the addiction is something I’ve always wanted to know more about. I think we can have some pretty awesome discussions on here, glad to have you
fredleam
#41
Dealing with heroin addiction of our son for the last 11 plus years. He’s been in and out of county jail and served 33 months in state prison for crimes related to addiction. We’ve made every mistake known to man in dealing with it. My goal is to help parents avoid those mistakes.
It’s one thing to hear advice from parents who don’t have an addicted loved one. It’s another thing entirely to hear from someone who’s lived it. We discovered a great organization, the PAL Group, and started a meeting for parents in our church. I highly recommend every parent check this out. They will help you get a group started in your area.
Our story, along with four other families, will be the feature story in the December issue of Money Magazine. The online version goes live next week. The print edition will be out on November 23. The executive director of PAL is the featured couple.
The reporter heard about our story after reading my blog article about it. The story is about the financial consequences of addiction on families.
I encourage everyone to read and share the story. The goal is to educate and help families.
Thank you!
Caroliny
#43
My husband is an alcoholic and refuses to admit it or seek help, my entire life is around him and I just don’t wanna be like that anymore, I wanna appreciate myself and love myself and put myself first without feeling guilty for doing it.
EMM89
#47
Hi,
I’m very happy to have been connected to a new outlet and resource to help me to understand how to properly approach my boyfriends addiction issues.
The village’s insta account connected with my account through an Al-Anon insta group I joined after my first and only meeting with the group.
I am still unsure of how I feel to the whole AA enterprise so it’s a breath of fresh air to see that there’s something like this.
I have yet to really examine this site but I am hopeful this forum will be a positive step for me when addressing my boyfriend and his alcoholism, gambling, sensation seeking behaviours and his cocaine use. He is in the process of going to AA meetings and is going to be apart of a gambling program at an institution in our city in the next week.
I have kicked him out of our apartment and have left him with the dog (so as to form some semblance of a routine and responsibility in his life). He is currently sleeping on his parents couch. I found out he stole from me. He took my credit card out of my wallet and used it for online poker. I was, and am still furious. I am not sure if I can ever trust him again. I know we need to see a couples counsellor but I feel that I am not at all addressing myself or my needs.
This is why groups like this I feel can be so beneficial to have a somewhat anonymous platform to gain insight and a new/similar perspective to the same issue in a whole different context.
Thank you all so much and all the best
Jane
#45
We’re here for you @Caroliny so glad you’ve joined us here - sending <3 what are you up to this weekend?
katie
#49
BIG Wednesday Welcome to those who have joined us this week!
Here’s looking at you @Jlspong @Marianne @Kelleye @strikingmatches @stacymthomas66 @Caroliny @catawumpus @Alyse @Angela216 @emmie @April @Kiz @EMM89 @Ram @Tryingtohelp @dadpop2007 @soph92 @KimA and @Shazaam.
If you haven’t yet, please take 5 minutes to:
- Say ‘hi!’ on this thread & tell us what you hope to gain from this Community.
- Complete your member profile by selecting the wheel icon after you click on your icon in the upper right corner.
^ Both of these things will help us help you better!
Please reach out if you have any questions! We are real people facilitating this platform, and really care to help.
polly
#48
Thanks so much for joining us here @EMM89 I’ve been where you are - in my case sitting in a nar anon meeting, my husband has struggled with Marijuana, gambling, porn and cocaine, alcohol has always featured but cocaine was the kicker. I found myself in nar anon meetings not agreeing with the detach with love messaging nor the lack of actions to be taken. This community serves up hope, optimism and provides tools to take action on. I personally found the anon meetings good to share in person. But this gives a safe space online, your joining us in early days here, every contribution makes the platform better. We’re in this together. Thanks again for being here. Please keep sharing your journey, your questions and answers you can share from your experience and we’ll promise to continue to do the same <3
Ryarbrough
#50
I am here because I have been married for 38 years. My husband has been a drug addict for 34 years… different stages of preferred drug of choice: from marijuana to cocaine to methamphetamine and now alcoholism. He’s never been sober more than 6 months. Went to treatment once. Refuses counseling, meetings anything to do with recovery. I’m telling you if you are with an addict you better accept the fact that this IS how you will live with this person. Do not EXPECT change. I am telling you the truth so you will realize that this is the person you are with…
gayneygirl
#52
Hi Katie and all,
I’m not sure what my question is but this is what’s happening in my life right now. ( I think when I googled, “should I visit my son in jail?”, that’s how I somehow found this community.)
My son is in jail, due to substance abuse related criminal activity. He is hopeful he’ll be out for Christmas, and would love to come home I’m sure,
however, that scares me! I don’t trust him yet. He has ruined Every occasion, every holiday. I don’t know if I’m up to having him come home for Christmas. Coming home has been a trigger for him in the past. I feel horrible for hoping he stays in jail until space becomes available at the treatment centre, where he says he will go, and is apparently high on the list for admittance. While he’s in jail I know where he is, that he has a roof, food, and is safe, and primarily…he is now over 40 days clean, and sober! I don’t know how to handle this, if he is released.
He had been living at a buddy’s place, on the couch, before jail. I believe the buddy remains in active addiction. He can’t go back there! He is working on getting into a men’s dry house, perhaps in the interim, while waiting for a space to open up in the treatment centre. The waits can be so long! That’s why I hope he stays in jail, until one of these places has a space available for him. Alot of damage has been done in the past 9 years. In my home, I had doors kicked in, windows broken, furniture smashed. I sold our family home 2 years ago, and now rent a condo. I can’t risk that kind of damage in my rental home. Not to mention the damage this has all done to me personally, I’ve been an absolute wreck. (53, looking like 63!)
I am so grateful for this community to share and gain support and advice.