I would like to know more about how others have overcame an addiction to Cocaine. My son is 20. He spends a minimum of $1,000 a week on this drug and Xanax. He does not have a vehicle to drive. WE do not give him money. I know he is not in his right mind, and I want to help him, but am not sure where to start. I have done the rework, set boundaries, stopped shaming, but I need to know more about the abuse and how it is treated to know where to go from here.
Thank you
Hi @longhornmom my husband struggled with cocaine addiction and it was a tough recovery process to watch and help him through. How open is your communication with your son around the use - is it pretty transparent and does he have any expressed interest in stopping?
For my husband it was very hard for him to talk about the problems he was having over the course of a few years it got worse and there were a few rock bottoms where professional help seemed like it might be an option for him but it took a final rock bottom to turn the corner and decide to go to rehab. His journey after rehab was upwards but slow. I’d say now 5 years into recovery he’s doing amazing, but it wasn’t until the 4th & 5th year that he didn’t have a major relapse. Just sharing how it was for us. It’s absolutely possible to get through it and come out the other side but it takes time to heal. That first year was rough, especially when removing the drug leaves them in depression. But it’s all been worth it and there are so many struggling with this it’s really very common 
In response to the journey I went through with my husband, I actually created the program I wished I’d had starting out and we just completed a clinical pilot trial with it, funded by the National Institute of Drug Abuse.
We got great results and I think you’ll find it really useful. Take a look at our Course HERE, and let me know if you have any questions I can help answer.
Hi, I’m sorry your family is going through this. I am an addict/alcoholic in recovery. I’ve been sober for 5 years. One thing I am tremendously grateful for, is that my parents never stopped loving me and never stopping showing it. I know my behavior and just how sick I was, must have been a nightmare for my parents who just wanted me to be healthy & happy. My mom often says that she wasn’t given a book about how to parent a child with addiction. You sound like you’re doing the right things. I didn’t get sober until I was sick of it and ready for recovery. My parents never forced recovery on me, and I believe thats why it stuck, it was my idea. He needs to hit a bottom and decide for himself. And know that its not your job to fix him, just to love him unconditionally. I hope he gets better and that you take care of yourself as well.
Hi there. Thank you so much for your response. Our communication is pretty good. He knows we know that he uses. We know when venmos show up on his account that he has bought drugs. We ask him not to use in our house, but we know that he does. He and I communicate fairly well, and I offer help. He has admitted he is dependent but has not expressed an interest in stopping. Thank you for sharing, and I will take a look at your resources,
Thank you so much for your response. I have done a lot of reading and I believe he knows I love him unconditionally. He will talk to me more than his dad. My husband gets angry and goes days without talking to him. I have asked him to just connect with our son once each day, even if just by text. My uncle was a heroin addict, and I have had two relatives die due to drug overdose. I am very scared of the long term results, and possible death, but I am working on being strong and having faith. Do you mind me asking what other substances you abused, and for how long? Thank you again,
Thank you for sharing your story. My daughter seems stuck at rock bottom - alcohol binge, detox, rehab, repeat. Recently diagnosed with an eating disorder as well. This has been her pattern for three years now, all beginning with postpartum depression. She has since lost her daughter, which adds to her depression/ptsd. It’s been painful to watch her downward spiral. We attend AA and the support helps. I hear hope in your comment. ty
All I can say is I did not show my son love, kindness or empathy during the last two years of his life. He passed away mar 27. I am overcome with guilt. Maybe if I had taken a different approach, our outcome would have been different. My last words to him were that he was an embarrassment and disgusting. That was the last time I saw him and now I have to live with that and it is difficult.
I keep wondering what his rock bottom will be, and unfortunately realize that rock bottom for son is death. I have offered the best psychiatric help, even did a genetic test to determine the best medication for his anxiety, depression, and ADHD, but he I can’t make him go. He has to want to. I know hie is self-medicating, and that it will take a while to undo the damage from the drugs and for him to get regulated on the right medications,
I’m so sorry, my heart breaks for your loss. Its not your fault though. I know my mom would feel the same guilt if she were in your position. Even if you could go back and take a different approach and be the most loving compassionate parent in the world, it might not have changed the outcome and I bet you’d still feel guilt about it. Because we always think we could have done more. Thank you for bravely sharing about your son.
I am so sorry to hear this. I am very familiar with what the final consequences could be. I’ve had family members who ended their struggle with death. This is why I have been so afraid, and why I have made sure I show unconditional love and realize that at this point in his substance abuse, it is no longer a choice, but a disease. When we first found out about him smoking weed, I flipped, and so many people told me not to worry it was just weed, and not a gateway drug. Well, now I know I was right. I feel like my family has a predisposition for substance abuse disorder. I am truly sorry for your loss. Thanks for sharing in the midst of your heartache.