Too busy to call

communication
rehab
#1

Partner is in rehab. She gets her phone for 45 mins a day in which she uses to FaceTime her son and her mom and I understand that but she also gets to use the landline everyday for about 20 mins. She called me everyday for 3 weeks and suddenly stopped and it’s been a week now. Our last conversation she was telling me about the 13th step and how 2 people got caught fooling around under the blanket during movie night. I said I heard about rehab romances and my disdain for that type of behavior and then the next day is when she stopped calling me.

She texted me a quick note saying she wasn’t going to call me that night because she had a tough counselling session and wasn’t in the mood. Then nothing for about a week and then she texted all the things she needed me to order for her on Amazon and said she’s been busy because she has 2 presentations to do but she promised to call me that night. She never did.

Can you be so busy that you can’t make a phone call? Like am I just being paranoid?

#2

Hey @Coquitlam604- how are you doing today? Thanks for sharing your story here.

I hear how much this is weighing on you—it makes total sense to feel confused and hurt when the communication pattern suddenly changes, especially after talking every day for weeks. Not knowing what’s going on can be really tough, and it’s easy for the mind to start filling in the blanks with worst-case scenarios.

The truth is, rehab is intense. It’s a full-time job of self-reflection, therapy, and breaking deeply ingrained patterns. It sounds like she’s really in it right now—counseling sessions, presentations, and probably some emotional ups and downs. That’s actually a good thing because it means she’s focusing on what she’s there to do.

I totally get why the shift in calls feels like a red flag, but it might not be about you at all. Recovery can be overwhelming, and sometimes people pull back because they’re trying to process everything. It’s frustrating, but it’s also normal.

Instead of spinning on the “why” of her silence, maybe shift the focus back to you . What do you need right now to feel okay, regardless of when she calls? Maybe that’s leaning into your own support system, doing things that bring you peace, or even just reminding yourself that this isn’t personal—it’s part of her process.

You’re not wrong to want connection, and you’re not paranoid for noticing a change. But you can choose to take a step back, breathe, and trust that whatever’s going on, you’ll be okay. :yellow_heart: