What do I do when by bf is pushing me away

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communication
#1

He is using again after over 6 months in rehab. He has been drinking for 2 weeks and using coke. Friday, he just ignored me when we had dinner plans. I got worried when he didn’t answer. Got to his apartment, and some people were there. I think he got mad at me for just showing up. He probably wanted to just ignore and say he fell asleep. Now he is just distant.

#2

Just so I can understand your story more and gain more insight (I might not know the answer, but want to follow this post as well):

•Was going to rehab 100% his decision, did someone else talk him into it, did he get into trouble?
•Was he in rehab for 6 months and started using almost instantly when he got out, or had he already been out of rehab for 6 months up until now?

#3

Hi!

He started to drink from day one after rehab. But said he had it under control. He got out may 1st.
He went to rehab so he could see his kids again… He lost everything and his ex refused him to see them. I think he went to the rehab only to save money (public rehab from the church) And he need to send test to her every week. He have so many friends who enables him. His lawyer drinks all the time and gave him a wine as a gift when he got a new appartment and was drinking in his home for 24 hours. It is so complicated. I texted my bf alot of messages, only support, no blame. But he doesnt reply at all. Only opens them. I also told him to be with people who want him to suceed, and not pull him down in the dark.

Last week he told me that he wouldnt make this without me, becauce I helped him fix the appartment and supported him. His ex visited with the kids, and she let him have them for the weekend. After that he started to drink again with his lawyer who called him. He lost it after that, and his ex told him that she dont want to sign any documents. Im afraid I fucket up because I texted non stop today. And I texted his lawyer today and told him that he was a bad friend for my bf. I told him that it is bad that he is drinking with him and that my bfs appartment looked like hell after he was hanging there for the night last week.

This is so painfull. I also found out that he made a tinder profile. This is too much to handle. So sad

#5

I’m so sorry for your pain and all this stress. I really hope he realizes all the problems alchohol, temptation, and “people, places, and things” may contribute to. I’m sure he will, he’ll realize it at some point. Sometimes it gets really dark before it gets better. Try to stay optimistic for him and for yourself. Don’t forget about yourself! I agree with being supportive and not blaming, but at the same time try to find a balance where you’re still holding him accountable, while still being compassionate with nothing that’s going to cause him to feel worse about himself.

Love and light x

#4

I know I should just move on with my life and try to forget him. This is so bad. Feel so used and ashamed for being so stupid.