What is your experience with AlAnon?

#1

For someone who has not been to AlAnon or NarAnon before -

What to expect?
How does it benefit you?
What do you wish to be different?
Any other tips?

#2

I went to Alanon and it wasn’t for me. My husband’s drug of choice was cocaine so Naranon was a better fit.

I found in Alanon rooms abusive language and behavior as well as drunk driving were themes of concern and these are quite different to those of a cocaine user (paranoia, radio-silence for days, porn addiction etc etc.)

I found Naranon helpful when I was deeply concerned and had nowhere else to turn. I liked being able to cry in a space where people got it, and to share the craziness that was going on week to week.

I didn’t like that there wasn’t a focus on actionable more medical / evidence-based skills /tools / actions. I didn’t really get into the steps. The detach with love vibe was not my vibe.

Once I got through things a bit, I hated sitting across from a mom crying and asking if she should visit her son in jail and I wanted to yell at the top of my lungs YES AND I WILL GO WITH YOU TO SHOW HIM LOVE. But I couldn’t because that would be against the rules.

I also, never understood why there was only 1 naranon meeting in NYC?!

#3

I am an adult child of an alcoholic, also siblings w addictions and my 1st spouse and father of my son is an alcoholic and I had never heard of alanon. It wasn’t until I was w my current spouse for 4 years that I was enlightened. The day he went to rehab, he asked me if I would consider alanon. I started that night 4 yrs ago. As most in the beginning, I thought I was going to learn how to “fix” him but there I learned how to fix me. The program saved my marriage and restored my serenity and I am grateful. Now, his abusing was/is more substance than alcohol abuse but the nearest naranon meeting is 45 min away and I’m considering starting my own. However, I share freely although the intensity by comparison to alcohol use is great and have always felt it a great fit. Nonetheless, I am a grateful member of alanon.

#6

Agree the behavior differences based on substance type make a difference in what we go through.
Sending love :two_hearts: glad to have you hear with us!

#4

Parts of AlAnon/NarAnon feel outdated and for whatever silly reason I have a hard time moving past that…

That said, like @polly, I liked being able to share, cry, laugh, etc. in a space where people understand the crazy. (And there’s a reason these programs have been around & effective for so long - so the “outdated” thing is probably my own problem! :wink:)

A first time meeting can be strange because you don’t really know what or who you’re walking into. I appreciate that the person leading the meeting frames the experience so you know what to expect as the meeting goes on, but does not pressure you into contributing, instead checks in at the end to see if you feel inspired to share.

In my experience, people are always very welcoming and kind!

#5

I enjoyed Al Anon very much. It was very helpful for me when my bf’s drinking was out of control. It can cause some tension if your loved one thinks you are out of line for attending a 12 step program when they may not be. They have multiple daily phone meetings that I attended and found comfort in. Many of the slogans and ideas were very helpful when my bf was continually drinking despite multiple previous negative consequences. I also get email meetings, which I like knowing I have in my inbox in case something happens. Al Anon was very helpful for me in times of crisis caused by drinking. I have not been attending regularly now because drinking has not been a problem…