Why can't I just leave?

relationship
#1

Why is it that we are always the ones trying to find help when they’re the ones with the problem?? Why do we waste so much time on these worthless people? I’m giving my all and he’s giving me nothing but heart ache and misery. We must be sick too.

#2

Good question @Patrona.rlly. It can be crazymaking, can’t it!?

If you like, hash it out here! There’s literally zero judgment in this space. What are some of the reasons you can think of that you do stay?

#3

I hope to get help here. To know that I’m not alone feels. Well I’m just glad I can share with people going through what I thought I was alone in.

#4

I know the feeling, you put all this effort and stress in to help them and it just falls flat seemingly everytime. Then you’re left with “why am I even doing this?..” Why spend all this time, effort and possibly money when it seems like they’re ungrateful, don’t care and it’s just a waste. I went through it but after some time and struggle I resolved to pull back alittle, take care of myself but still be supportive. They can only recover if they choose to and at they’re own pace, just being supportive, communicating and asking how best you can help them personally is all you can do. My fiance always says she wants to recover for herself, obviously she wants to do it for me too and says I’m a big inspiration for her to be better but the actual choice of doing it for her own health and happiness is ultimately the turning point they need.

#5

I do wish i had the answer (or magic wand) for this question!!! They always seem great in the beginning…but somewhere along the line that fizzles & it’s like cycle of insanity repeats itself! I don’t like that my 1st reaction is to call myself stupid for falling for it AGAIN, always ending up with the same sort of ungrateful, selfish, emotionally distant, broken men. Ugh. I’m so tired of it. So I’ve decided i don’t want anyone right now - it’s time to make myself ridiculously happy doing all the things I’ve always wished someone else would do to show me love.

#6

This is the biggest thing that I’ve realized: that “they can only recover if they choose to”-- words of @Dean_Acton! I recently came to this realization with my mom that I mentioned in a different post. This weekend she finally was open to me about her drinking, which she had always been in denial about in the past. It was such a liberating and relieving feeling to know that this is a step in the right direction. I’m not sure where things are headed, but I know that we must be on the way.

#7

That’s awesome @Hurtiegirl! :tada: What’re you doing this week to show yourself love?!