Hi everyone, I’m new here and reading about some of your experiences really helped me today.
My partner left for rehab 36 days ago. At first he didn’t even admit to me that it was doing to be alcohol rehab instead he used euphemisms such as “more intensive mental health support” but then a few weeks before he decided to go I found out about a huge lie he told me and from then on he started drinking more and more (or hiding it less and less from me) and when he informed me he was going to an inpatient treatment he said it would be 30 days but here we are, way past the 30 days now and not a peep from him. This is actually what made me really nervous. He is in another country for this, he was supposed to return and then…nothing.
In the first week he was gone I received one quick text saying no phones allowed, in the second week I received a message that he’s feeling good and the place is helping.
Then radio silence although I knew he had access to his phone every now and then for a few minutes (“to pay bills”). He didn’t tell me anything about the facility but with detective work I figured out today where he is.
Their treatments are not 30 days, it’s 8 weeks and he would’ve known that, so now I’m just wondering…… why lie?
He missed my birthday this week and he will also miss a big concert I had bought us Tickets and flights for - this is by no means me complaining about him not being there but I just don’t understand why he would lie about this specific thing? Had he told me from the beginning I would’ve know what to set myself up for, I wouldn’t be so upset about yet another lie now.
I was incredibly supportive this whole time and tried to encourage him to seek the help he needs but now with yet another lie coming out and him not reaching out even though I know he’s had the chance to at least quickly say “sorry turns our I’ll have to stay longer”…I think I’m holding on to the final straw.
What’s your experience, why do they lie about things that wouldn’t be an issue?