My wife left to go to a 28 day Inpatient rehab which i was in support of we both strughke with sub abuse and are trhi g t I regsin custoody of our kids from her parents. But ever since she left its been kne lie after gge other she ladted 14days in fehab then went to a sober living shes now been gone for 8 months and its gotten to the pount theres no communication. Shes always running back to ger parents and doing what they tell her they manipulate her and its not good for her mental health but she thinks shes gotta do as they say to get our kids. I have also sought treatment and gotten ckean over tgd 8 months but its all for not ive lost my wife and my kids. The sober living has done nothjng fir family. Ive seen my wife 4 yimes in 8 months and dont know what to do . When she left and all 17 years of marriage have been happy an aside from.not hacing our kids our relationship wasnt bad maybe a little codependent. But im tired of her lying and running bsck to her parents abd not acting like an adult we are 42 . All along sges tokd me she lobes me needs me and doesnt want to get divorced but her actions have to l d me the oppposite and ive reached my limit i would and have dobe anythi g for her weve bern together sincr 15 years old shes all i know and who i eant to be with but i cant tell if she wants tgat and she will not communicate with me its not like her shes said she will dobanythjng to get n our kids back i just didnt think that included leaving me tjis way. Lost hurt and confused.
Wife went to sober living and has completely shut me out of her life6
Hi @Jbravo - it’s great to hear that you and your loved one have taken steps toward recovery. It’s always so hard when addiction seems to take our loved ones, so that they seem like a different person. The brain takes time to heal, and it often takes more than detox and rehab to get to a place of truly health recovery.
Have you had any contact with her parents, or do you know anyone else that might be able to step in and help you communicate with her? How are you taking care of yourself during this time - do you have any support groups, a therapist, or recovery coach that has been helping you through your own recovery? How are your kids handling all of this?
We The Village has an online CRAFT group that can help you through this by teaching you positive communication skills and self care for yourself, among many other evidence-based skills! You can learn more and sign up at courses.wethevillage.co. Next group starts on November 4!
Sending love 