Boundaries and consequences


Hello everyone!
I would like to ask a question about boundaries and consequences that you have for your loved ones, i need some ideas!

My loved one that struggles with addiction is my husband. We are now separated and he overdosed on heroin 2 months ago. His two kids (my step kids) were present when that happened so CPS got involved immediately. We also have a 2 year old son together. CPS was having him tested every two days and he also had supervised visits with his kids. He started group treatment and is starting therapy tomorrow and also he was clean on all the tests in the past 2 months. Based on his progress CPS is no longer involved in his case as of yesterday. Now I have to talk to him about boundaries and consequences, especially because we have a son that he will be seeing once we figure out all the rules. One thing I thought of is that if I ever have doubts that he’s using I will ask him to do a drug test for me and if he refuses I will call CPS immediately.

Another huge concern I have, that CPS didn’t care much about, is his alcohol abuse. That was the main reason we separated and drug abuse came along. But I believe he will stop using drugs but not alcohol. We don’t have a family court case open about custody and placement, we are legally still married.


Hi @Hana - it’s been a several weeks since you posted this… how have things been going with you and your loved one? Were you able to communicate your need for a drug test if there are ever doubts regarding his recovery?

I think setting boundaries is something that many people struggle with, which might explain the non-response here so far. There are a couple of older threads about this topic that you might find helpful: