Cheating in Rehab


Hey Everyone,

Im new to this place and i am needing some advice so my husband went to rehab for a month and in that month he had been doing awesome but towards the end i noticed that he was slightly distant and on his last day he didnt talk to me at all he said he needed to pack well the day before he had asked me to look up his old bosses phone number so when he gets back he can start working i didnt kniw how to find it well i was on the phone with my sister and she said look at the phone records im sure his bosses number is in there. Well… i saw a phone number he’d been texting while he was in there long story short it was a staff member and the day he came home i had to get his perscriptions from his email and that number popped up so i clicked on it and i read the text he told her good morning beautiful and they said it was there last day together and what not my heart broke finally i asked him about it later that night and he lost his temper and went to use drugs that very night he came back and told me she is nothing to him he was playing with her and they are jut friends he completely flip it on me and then after that they continued to talk she told him she was so scared because she could lose her job and she told him to put a lock on his phone and change the name which he did and i asked him about her and in the end he deleted her number and as far as i know they dont tallk then i saw he started to follow her on instagram but she doesnt follow him back :frowning: im trying to let this go but it sneaks up on me he says its nothing but how do i know if they did do anything in there??? I mean he clealry has feelings for her and shes an employee how do i get passed this and how do i know if something happened im just lost and its really bothering me please help me any advice wpuld be greatly appreciated .


Hey @ma0128 - oof there’s a lot to unpack there! First thing - I’m sorry to hear you’re going through this and glad you found this space to share. It’s good to hear that your husband got help, even if he did have a setback shortly after getting home from rehab. Some progress is still progress, and when in a relationship with someone with substance use disorder, we have to take whatever progress and hope we can get.

Early recovery is hard for everyone. Even after returning from rehab, there’s still so much to work through. There are wounds that your husband has to heal in himself, as well as any wounds in the relationship that you need to heal together, and wounds within yourself that you have to work through on your own. Having relationships in rehab, or connecting with someone else while in rehab, is pretty common. There are several conversations in this community that address this - I’ve linked them below.

It’s possible to move past infidelity in a marriage, but not without truly addressing it together. That type of conversation might be too much at this point in the recovery process though, with your husband’s brain still healing from drug use. But I understand it’s so much to take on for yourself right now. Have you considered speaking with a counselor for yourself? or marriage counseling?

Related topics:
Has anyone experienced possible cheating in rehab?
Should I be concerned about cheating in rehab?


Hi @ma0128 - checking in with you! How have things been going with you and your husband?

I wanted to let you know about the upcoming Group Course that starts on May 30. The Group Course combines our 12-week Online Course with Group Coaching, and aims to help family members improve their communication and behaviors to support their loved ones through addiction and recovery. If you’re interested, you can learn more and sign up at :sparkles: