Has anyone had a spouse or significant other here that has been addicted to Meth?

methamphetamine
#24

Thanks for clarifying and I am guessing NA?? I will let you know. I believe the meeting will be helpful either way. Although I would like to find a Nar-anon meeting or maybe start one in our area??

Today it is my intent to spend much of my day on self-care. I plan to rest, watch a movie or two, and breathe deeply.

Tomorrow I will travel to visit my daughter in rehab. I haven’t seen her for two weeks. She lost visitation privileges the prior week because she broke the rehabs “no cell phone” rule. This visit will be extra special! My grandson, who has only visited his mom “through glass” approximately 6 weeks ago, is traveling with me to visit his mom. They have not hugged since December before she was incarcerated. I am very grateful for this opportunity for some much needed family time.

Our family is blessed by my daughter continuing on her path of sobriety and recovery…and so it is! Amen!

#23

That’s so great to hear @sammiesame! I hope it helps. To clarify, have you found a Nar-anon meeting or a NA meeting? Nar-anon is for loved ones of people with SUD to drugs, while NA is for those with the SUD - similar to AA except it’s Narcotics Anonymous. It sounds like you’ve found an NA meeting that is open to the public?

#25

Soak up all the loving good intentions and bring home buckets of gratitude :rainbow: :rainbow:

#26

Thank you for the inspiration!

#27

So I’m here again an update we both moved away together to a far away town and things have not got better it’s actually got worse he has become more distant then before I really can’t take this anymore it feels not worth it to keep dragging my heels to the inevitable anymore
I know it is time to leave he has gotten more violent and has spit in my face again and makes me feel like everything is me not him I have tried everything now but I’m losing myself more every day I stay
I have sought out and outreach worker in the new town and realize after doing an intake assessment that I’m am on the high risk category for abuse I think I really just needed to hear it I’m looking for a place to live on my own now

#29

@ Seeking Hi! I have a son addicted to meth and in my almost 10 year experience dealing with this horrible drug, I have found very little help. It is a ruthless endless cycle with that drug. I hope you can take care of yourself and maintain good boundaries. I find that if I keep myself safe, I am able to be more helpful to my son. He doesn’t make a whole lot of sense when on that drug. I did read a good book about a mom who went through a lot with her daughter and I found it to be helpful. “A Very Fine House” by Barbara Cofer Stoefen. It was very relatable and helped me get through a lot of guilt which I find hard to do sometimes. It was also helpful to find ways to “let go.” I wish you good luck and lots of support!

#28

I need a good meeting

#30

Please don’t lose yourself! I fully understand how difficult it is, but you won’t be able to help or show him respect if you can’t find respect for yourself. And you can’t feel the respect you deserve when he treats you disrespectfully. You are a part of the Village, which demonstrates the resilience you have to have found a support system. You gathered your strength and courage to move away, in an attempt to regenerate your relationship. Take care of yourself, so that if the time comes that he needs your help to detox and begin recovery, you have something left to support him.
You have already been through so much, I hope you can see yourself as the loving, caring person we see. One who deserves to be appreciated and your love and honor reciprocated.

#18

Oh no, I wasn’t actually offended. It’s just a touchy subject, and I apologize if I sounded harsh. I think everyone in his life wonders if I use, and when he tells them I don’t, they either ask why I’m with him or why he’s with me. I understand your meaning completely.

That’s a good question. I am going to be truthful. I don’t think we can really help who we end up loving. Because of that, the choice I would make is to never have met him in the first place. I don’t think I could have walked away easily. As much as I love him, I would rather have not been introduced to this world and these choices at all. That probably makes me sound horrible but if anyone would understand that, it’s all of you.

#32

@Seeking how are things going? I re-read this post and am so sad for what you’re dealing with right now. I also have 2 loved ones addicted to meth but for me it’s my adult kids. For me the best approach is to distance myself from them, which really stinks to say since they’re my flesh and blood and have brought me the greatest joys in my lifetime. I hold onto hope that one day they’ll wave goodbye to these awful drugs once and for all, and that they’ll once again be people that are much easier to love.

Either decision you make is tough, and since we get trapped in a vicious cycle of trying g to keep them content and as happy as we can, I applaud you for looking at a solution that’s best for YOU!

#19

You are in no way a horrible person. I completely understand your feeling judged for choosing to stand by your loved one. My family has caused me to feel horrible because I choose not to throw my daughter out on the streets.

Whether it is daughter, brother, sister, mother, father or boyfriend you love that person before or even when they became addicted. Love should be unconditional and no one should expect you to be able to stop loving someone because they are struggling with addiction.

My daughter’s addiction started with her doctors prescribing her pain killers for an injury and then for C Diff. She had been experiencing excruciating pain and the doctors stopped writing prescriptions for her. They “dropped her” and did not even ask if she needed a taper so not to experience withdrawal.

I am saddened by the way my nearest and dearest view addiction. They act in a way that is anti-supportive. Like anyone would choose to use and lose all that they love including their true self and well-being!

#31

Thank you so much for your kind words
I’m so glad I found this group
I know the discord and disrespect I feel is such an endless vicious cycle of abuse it really isn’t me and I have reached out I also have now found my own place it’s going to be hard faking it for the next couple weeks but he is not trying to change it might have been different if he was but I need myself respect and mental health back I just can’t do this anymore
We moved and thought it might get better but it hasn’t the endless promises that are never kept , the lies the betrayal and the cheating have just killed me inside I just keep telling myself out loud I am so much better then this I am a good woman I’m loyal, a great cook and easy going , he doesn’t deserve me

#33

Thank you so much for checking in on me
This is sooo tough , I’m going back down to see my family next week after moving 12.5 hours away to the new town, I’m honestly can’t wait and need the break from him , once I’m back I will be moving to my own place I’m just still trying to ask myself why me most of the time but I know it’s not me I have already been asking around for some trauma support once I’m back
I’m sick to my stomach still with all of this
But It is what I have to do now , he choose this and made me have to think about myself first
And btw I do really like the new town I live the people I work with are amazingly supportive and I consider them my friends they understand and really care about how I’m doing too
I can do this , for the first time in my life I have the will and the success of a career that can allow me to be able to not be co dependent on a man

@Deanna1

#35

@Deanna1 Hi miss lady! I miss you and thank you for continuing to contribute to the community. I was so glad to see your post. I especially like this part…

I remain hopeful with you, onward through life. Enjoy your independence day soon!

#36

@Deanna1
Hi Deanna,
I feel for you. My son has been addicted to meth for years and no amount of treatment has helped. Has distancing yourself helped? I am at that point because he is getting worse and worse and I Am in constant stress.

Thank you for sharing

#34

@Seeking Your update is very encouraging. It is regrettable when a relationship cannot flourish, and that is a sadness to learn from, as you have. So Great your news

I am a confirmed fan of men, so that isn’t the good part, it’s the EMANCIPATED part- the not depending on someone else for your life and livelihood. It gives you options, choices, and a refreshed palate. Congratulations!

#37

Yes and its hard to watch your loved deteriorate away. I pray everyday for a miracle and a come up. All things happen in there time…

#38

I stayed, and tried he just won’t change
I did my best
Things got so BAD
I am safe and have moved out
I had knots in my stomachs for months that is now gone

#39

Sending you love @Seeking. It takes a lot of courage to do what you have done. You are brave, you are strong, and there is always hope. :sparkles:

#41

I stayed far too long. He was manufacturing meth and using his “free” drugs constantly. It caused drug-fueled paranoia and schizophrenia. He no longer lived in reality. My 15-year-old shot and killed him when he decided I was his enemy and hit me with his fists. My son was charged with murder and I with drug manufacturing for distribution. It took over a year to get clear of the charges and see my son again. I had so many reasons to stay or at least that’s what I told myself. You did the right thing. I haven’t heard of anyone with a meth addiction who got sober. Maybe they exist. Keep running and don’t go back. Don’t be like me who “loved” him and thought I could make things right.