What have you done or said to try to get your loved one into rehab, to a support group, or take steps toward recovery? What worked, and what hasn’t?
I actually threatened to tell his folks hes 55 but still like with them hides in his room. Long story short after 3 years of dating git him into a long term rehab and find out he screwing someone in there. I guess no good deed goes unpunished!!!
This is such a great question and I’m anxiously waiting to hear what everyone has to say. In my experience I’ve pretty much kept my mouth shut but something happened a few weeks ago that has led to my husband’s latest attempt at sobriety and it might have been from a conversation we had. Basically he really messed up because he was drinking and when he was telling me what happened things were not adding up so I said to him “I’m having a difficult time trusting you right now” and then he opened up and told me what really happened and the timeline of events made sense so then I believed him. Now we give each other a commitment each morning and his has been he commits to not drinking. Hopefully this time he sticks to it.
@sky Wow, what a huge step forward! I like that you did not blame or accuse him of lying, but instead, expressed your difficulty trusting him. I think that kind of vulnerability opens up a much safer space for everyone to be honest. Praying that he sticks with his commitment, too! What is your commitment?
I’m struggling with this as it is my husband that needs rehab really bad , unfortunately I’ve come to that acceptance point not that I truly do accept it but have realized there is truly nothing that I can say or do that will change this he has to want to changer in order for it to accomplish anything , I have kept it inside for so long and so glad I found this blog to vent on , 2 weeks ago I tried the forced rapid access clinic he got in the car but he wasn’t happy about it he went in talked to a Dr got meds and still hasn’t taken them or called the
Resources they provided , unfortunately felt like I had hit another brick wall until Last week I literally packed my car and bags and was going to leave , my friend said I could stay there if things got to the point were I needed to flee , I also have been warning him for the last 2 months that I would not enable anymore and set boundaries by saying NO finally and told his sister what is really going on , he came home that night and I actually was fearful of what he would say but it turned to a rational conversation I told him his sister knows now , surprising but it might have actually been the kick in the ass he needed and he knows he can’t hid from his addiction anymore , he has finally started doing things that need to be done now that his sister is aware , I’m trying to stay hopeful but I have heard a lot before we need to list and sell before we both lose everything and he has agreed to do detox once that happens , we will see …. Friday it’s getting listed it can’t be put off anymore , I highly recommend seeking supports for yourself first before the addict may even want to as well
I’m currently in Nar-anon , personal Couselling, and taking time for my own self care every day as I have lost myself and have felt so isolated and lonely I have spoke and it was the best thing I could have done for ME not him let’s just hope
I once told my husband he had to go to rehab or he couldn’t come home. He didn’t come home that night. When he came home the next day, I told him he had to go to rehab or we couldn’t move on as a family. He went to rehab and relapsed six months later. I found meetings for him, I found him a therapist and made appointments for him. It wasn’t until I realized how much my own mental health was deteriorating from living in a home with active addiction and nonstop lies that I decided to leave and make the space to take care of myself. That was when he detoxed on his own and really made steps toward recovery. He didn’t go back to rehab. He did recovery his way and I stepped out of the way. For me, it was a full surrender. Letting go of outcomes and hoping it would be okay no matter what happened. It didn’t get him into rehab, but it was the first step toward a healthier relationship, which has become a crucial part of long term recovery.
@Seeking Good for you for getting support for yourself. I agree, we can’t force our loved ones to change. But I also believe if we think can enable bad behaviors, then we can enable positive behaviors, too. It’s just takes a lot of work, patience, compassion to get there.
Have you checked out the Group Course? There is a new group starting November 8, and it can help teach skills to make positive change in your relationship.
I want to check the course out money is very tight unfortunately
I have filled out the questionnaire already thanks so much