In what ways have you tried to get your loved one into treatment?



First time it was more of an ultimatum in order for us to get back together. So he did an outpatient treatment (for his alcohol abuse). He was doing great for a little while and then drinking behind my back started again and all the lies and manipulations, it all led to heroin abuse. We eventually separated and after he ODed I stopped communicating until he reached out. He seems now much more reasonable and he is looking into treatment options and reaching out for help on his own.
I think there were two major things that were a wake up call for him: his 10 year old daughter found him when he ODed and me and his brother stopped communicating with him after the fact.
Fingers crossed that he stays on the right path!


@newnoz Thank you for this question and I think it opens up an opportunity to really have compassion for our loved ones and the difficulty they may have with making positive changes. If we can’t even ask for help, and we don’t have a problem with addiction or substance use, how difficult must it be for them to reach out for help and be willing to change?

Change is hard for anyone, whether addiction is present or not. Often times we may ask, Why can’t they just change? Why can’t they just go to a meeting? Why can’t they just stop using? And when we look at ourselves and try to make changes within and ask for help, we may realize that it’s harder than we think.

I think what might help people seek help sooner is making them aware that helping yourself is an important part of helping others. Normalizing mental health as just another part of staying healthy - like going to the doctor and exercising. Changing the conversation around things like therapy, counseling, and support groups. I think we’re getting there, especially after the pandemic really put mental health at the forefront for everyone.


Thank you for sharing here, @Hana. Yes, all the fingers crossed for your loved one! It’s good to hear that he is reaching out and looking into treatment options. How is that process going for you and him? How are you seeking support for yourself during this time? Glad to have you here in this community.


@Hana Thanks for sharing your story. Have considered getting the kids help. I can only imagine how your 10 year old daughter felt seeing her father like that. I hope he get the help he need.


I have tried everything under the sun including offering to buy him his dream car nothing has worked. Begging, crying, praying, driving him to treatment he refuses to get out the car you name it I tried it.


That is my stepdaughter and unfortunately her mom won’t communicate with me after this event (I don’t know the reason, she is simply not responding to my texts or calls, we seemed to have a good communication before). But I agree, I would definitely seek some help for her, however it is out of my hands and I hope if her mom doesn’t do it that my husband’s family will.


For me getting help just started when my daughter entered prison this past month. I have thought about it previously, however, I am so busy and so exhausted from trying to save her that my own health has deteriorated.

Just before she went into prison this time I said to her, “My dear girl, it is time you save yourself. I’ve been told to be careful when attempting to save someone who is drowning…,they will likely pull you under and you will drown, too. Well babe you keep jumping in the deep end…and I’m losing strength fighting to save your life. I have to save myself before there is nothing left for me to give. It is now up to you to get this figured out on your own!”


@sb0822 It’s all so exhausting. I’m sorry you’ve had to endure so much, only for him to continue refusing help. How are you and your loved one doing now?


We must have self love in order to help others. Take care of you :heart:


@Jacqui Thank you for asking! He is looking into different options for treatment and counseling and he actually talked about it openly without me asking anything. I don’t know a lot of details though but I hope he’ll make some steps forward soon. On the other hand I’ve been going to Al Anon meetings once a week, which is really helpful but I haven’t felt comfortable yet to share my story with them. This community has been a huge support for me as well! I get to read everyone’s experiences and write down my thoughts and feelings. I find that very helpful because I get to hear other people’s perspective and also motivates me to analyze my own actions.