New to the Village? Start here!

#1

Hello, and Welcome! :wave:

Recovery takes a village. Our peer support and discussion forum is a free community to ask questions, get answers, or just read about topics that relate to your situation as a friend or family member of someone in addiction or recovery. You are not alone. There are others like you who are going through the same thing, or who have gone through it and have seen their loved ones find help and healing. Recovery is possible!

Are you a parent, a spouse, a sibling? Find conversations with others who relate:

Looking for conversations specific to health and treatment?

Are you interested in proven skills and support to help your loved one and finally motivate change?

Ready to get started and connect? Introduce yourself in the comments below and tell us why you’re here.

For help navigating the We The Village community, check out this quick how-to video

Learn more about CRAFT and our 12-week Online CRAFT program from @Jane :point_down::eyes:

#5

Extending a warm Welcome to the many newcomers we’ve had in the last few months! We’d love for you to introduce yourself and share what brings you to this community?

@SoSad @ash_11 @TamiB @Txsarah @Heather17 @Mamabecs5 @Anikki @ivonneperla @bc0992 @JLWR @Fyttyf @Rehabscams @groundandlettinggo @Beabuffey @faith23 @Nell @Jansport @baptistgirl23 @Ccb4life @Asha @Gstarpimp @Abbydott @Trilliam @Wanjiru @BPMom @Buddy @JC0710 @lavendergirl @Chrissyctorres @hithere2345 @Sharonrae71824 @Cfj @Jojo76 @Ljb32290 @Inthewind @bbrritt @Webster95 @CuriousNdCuriouser @Go4Gold @tjohnson @Sam @Isab7 @Princess21 @Mrashid @JEWELES @hopefulhh @Shift673 @K0919 @Talebia.s @ProjectSarah @Bisto @Eviejj1 @Rxanpowell @Tarheel @Riley7823 @Zakena922 @Thatgrlkylie @jjlarson @Tomato12 @Angie1 @Rbuzas @withers1978 @Vrela @Rain @Mckinley390 @Mariahray @apart @Keljon @professorjo @1111 @CuriousGal @Haifisch @MaryK @Coreyfish98 @tsavv @JoeP @Emilymi1212 @BigDogDad @SupportiveGF @Rose101 @Tstaples @Danthedad88 @Clean2024 @Justbroken @Vrs227 @Sisterof3 @sarahhunt02 @Ginadeluca18 @Heather623 @HeatherAnn13 @finloq @Lalamo @anonymous87 @Sunflower094 @Nicoleanne @mbhatia211 @Momo1265 @Ash4

The more you share with others, or even just let them know you understand, the more we can help each other get through what we’re all going through. You’re not alone!

#6

Hello All,

My name is Chrissy and my SO is in active addiction using a 5th of vodka a day, if not more. I’d like him to minimize or moderate his drinking and especially not drink while driving. More importantly, I’d like to start taking care of myself so much so that I’m not triggered by him, his mouth, or jilted ex wife’s mouth. We’ve been together since 10/28/22 and living together since 02/2023. I’d mentioned many times that I’d take it for as long as I can and then end the relationship and made him get a job. He promised to be a 2 drink a night guy once he has a job, but that never happened and hasn’t still. I’m now a wee bit financially dependent on him until my next raise and him paying me back owed money once his the settlement on his house is final in November, if not sooner. I find myself behaving in a way I never have before, being physically violent with him and it’s not only horrific, but depleting spiritually. This is not me, but it has been too frequently and it needs to stop. I just found CRAFT and ITC and have been trying to find a community that is good fit for me. I appreciate any and all words of advice and direction that might help me. I don’t want to be this woman.

Kind regards,
Chrissy

#4
#9

I stumbled on CRAFT and ITC looking for Al Anon meetings and Found Cory Martin of the Recovery Revolution where she was quoting efficacy percentages! I was blown away because I’d never heard of CRAFT or ITC but was very hopeful for myself and my SO being that CRAFT is 65-70% effective vs Al Anon being 14%. I have some resentment for having to incur costs to have a relationship with him, but of course am aware that regardless of us staying together this kind of relating will help me in many areas despite the work it will take me to find my inner peace. I have the audio book Beyond Addiction and the paper back work book and am trying to listen when I can and have been meeting with certain groups trying to find the right fit. I’m interested in the online courses here but would like to speak to someone before I proceed.

#11

Happy Wednesday, Villagers! Sending out a warm welcome to our newcomers in the Village Community: @Mindy16 @Mich2406 @Beth24 @Blacksocker @Oxygenplug @Googoo @sadnlonely @Sydmrobin @Care

We’d love for you to introduce yourself and share what brings you here?

Remember: you’re not alone, and just sharing our stories can be a huge step toward positive change - in our loved ones and ourselves.

#10

Hi @Chrissyctorres it’s great to have you here, and I’m glad you found CRAFT and We The Village because it really can give you a blueprint that you can apply uniquely to your relationship and situation to navigate the challenges of being in relationship with someone who is using substances in a problematic way.

You are definitely not alone in this sentiment:

I have some resentment for having to incur costs to have a relationship with him, but of course am aware that regardless of us staying together this kind of relating will help me in many areas despite the work it will take me to find my inner peace.

We do our absolute best to keep our high quality programs as affordable and accessible as possible. And I’d love to connect you with one of our coaches to schedule a brief intro call, with no cost to you, to learn more about our CRAFT programs and see which might be a good fit. I’ll send you a message with details of how to book.

#12

Let’s welcome our new Villagers! If you’d like to connect, please say hi and introduce yourself, and share what brings you here? Loving someone with a substance use disorder can feel hopeless and confusing. You’ve got a Village here to remind you: you’re not alone.

:wave: @Maria2 @Bluejay28 @Interest @Kmcray @Ukmama @Katherine @Sarah1Jean @Mac @Ash0423 @mushal @kmiranne @SMS

#13

Happy Wednesday, Villagers! How is the week going for everyone? I’d like to welcome our newcomers here and open up safe space to share intros, stories, what brings you here? This space is for you and remember: you’re not alone.

:wave: @Alexiswise45 @abp3690 @Sum4987 @Willy @J987 @kat3 @Baybediva @Krisw101

Please send me a note if you have any questions about the community or CRAFT!

Our next Online CRAFT group starts on November 4 - you can read more about it and sign up below:

#7

Hi @Chrissyctorres - welcome to the Village! I’m glad you found this space.

I love that you mention CRAFT! Curious to know what your thoughts are on the CRAFT approach? We offer an online CRAFT program with certified coaches and weekly group calls that can help you connect with others going through similar situations. You’re not alone. Click here to learn more.

It takes a lot of courage to look inward like that and recognize that your behaviors don’t align with what you really want. Just that openness and awareness is a huge step that can lead you to positive change.

#14

Hey there, Villagers! I’d like to welcome our newcomers to the community - I’m glad you’re here, and I hope you’ll take a moment to connect and share your story. You’re not alone in loving someone who is struggling with addiction. Sometimes it’s the connections we make in safe spaces like this that can truly make a difference.

:wave: @Valrmp0618 @Lopooleart @Brenda24 @undersea @Frankmofort @Leanao64 @scaredofeverything @Mrmay9th @lwilcox1996 @Esthi777 @KLK @Mmps @Ladybuglove @Sakurablossom @Larz @se7en @AliyahCal23

#16

Extending a warm welcome to our new Villagers today!

:wave: @honeymarie @Mlevi4140 @JSR @Lissa78 @growing2 @Tylert @Margot @Espee @Mernae77 @LewisShoults @Terr @Hil @Krymarsh @eac @YvanGonzalez1 @JackiK @Antxnellaa21 @Hopeful24 @Brandon

Thanks for being here - simply joining this community and being open to sharing stories is a big first step toward positive change. I hope you’ll take a moment to tell us why you’re here, or browse through the site and connect with others who share a similar story. Sometimes just a :heart:️ on a message can help us know we’re seen and heard.

If you haven’t already, you can scroll up on this message for some quick links to help you around this space.

Sending you love. You’re not alone. :sparkles:

#17

Hello to all our new Villagers!

:wave: @Schatzie73521 @pchayka @Aeagle07 @Sylvia.oleszczuk @Kcramer @Mellyme @aeloise16 @Techy508 @Amville @Kmh7272 @anonymous88 @Thommy56 @Rosiemc @Expat25 @MalFMN @barbara7074 @axl @PricklyPear @Klh013088

What brings you to the Village? I hope you’ll take a moment to share your story. There are others here who have been through similar experiences, and the more we share, the more we can connect. After all, connection is the opposite of addiction, and that’s what we’re hoping to do here - to help you connect better with your loved one so you can help motivate change in their behaviors.

Take a browse around the site, too, and if you see something that resonates, give it a :heart:️. Let me know if you have any questions about We The Village, our community, or our programs.

#18

Hello, Villagers! Sending a warm welcome to our newcomers today. We’re happy you found us. You’re not alone.

:wave: @Toomuch @Loveforus @Juliach @versustheworld @Kmerkly @Karina @Annie1 @Gwyniel @Emaan @Dpfau @Laurmcd @Mkp5605

How are you today? If you’re ready and up for it, I hope you’ll share your story and let us know what brings you to this community. The more we share, the more we can connect with others and find hope, inspiration, and ideas to motivate change.

Be sure to take a look around the site, and scroll up to the top of this topic to see quick links, resources, and info on our CRAFT Program.

Let me know what you think and if you have any questions!

#19

Welcome, new Villagers!

:wave: @Jenine @Sarahangel1andonly @Nidh @Wilbur @Ldingman78 @Eddie @Elizabsm @Scotters858

We’re glad you’re here! This season can be tough for families of people struggling with a substance use disorder. You’re not alone, and there is hope.

If you’re feeling up for it, please share how you’re doing today and what brings you to the Village. Sometimes just typing it out can help.

#21

I’m not doing to well ive been in a bad head space past couple weeks due to my kids daddy who I was with for 14 years up and decided he needed to focus on himself while he is in rehab and then completing ghosted me blocked me and up and disappeared not even contacting us on Christmas I don’t understand it and I’m having a hard time believing that the last 14 years meant nothing to him when I thought he was my forever so yea that’s what brings me here one night I googled something about what I was feeling or going through and i ended up here so here I am.

#22

Hi @Sarahangel1andonly - glad you found us here. I hope you’ve had a chance to browse around the site and see if any other stories or experiences resonate with you. There is a whole section on handling a partner in rehab here. it’s definitely a tough time for everyone - even when they finally get help, it still doesn’t fix everything like we’d all hope it would.

I’m having a hard time believing that, too. No matter what the situation is now, I don’t think your relationship meant nothing. Are there any mutual friends or family that you can contact to make sure he’s all right? It may take some time before you’re both able to communicate and move forward. In the meantime, what are you doing to take care of yourself?

#20

I joined because my husband is an alcoholic and Kratom addict. He’s been going through an extended relapse for the past two months. In the last, when he has relapsed and I’ve discovered it, he’s been willing to immediately seek treatment treatment hasn’t been all that effective. He spends 30 days inpatient then does some sort of intensive outpatient for a month or two. Having been in treatment about 8 times, he gets bored and says he already knows what they tell him. He generally stops going to meetings or being part of the recovery community after a couple months with mixed results. Sometimes he can stay sober a few years, but this past year, the longest stretch was 6 months. He’s only maintained sobriety 1 week in the past 3 months and doesn’t want treatment because it “doesn’t work”. I don’t know how much longer I can stay in this marriage however bad that sounds. After so many lies to feed his addiction, I have no trust in him. He is physically and mentally absent from our family life and constantly sick from the addiction-withdrawal cycle. He will not even admit Kratom is a real drug, but I found 50 empty bottles in the past week hidden in each of his socks. It feels like he is hell bent on killing himself with this. I don’t want to have zero compassion, but I just feel like I’m enabling him by staying.

#24

Happy New Year! Let’s welcome our new Villagers -

:wave::sparkling_heart: @Claire1 @J123M @adamSmith @Jenine81 @Flower4ever @Becca @erock33 @Mary2 @Raccoon4724 @Kkimmons @GNA @Keller0369 @Maya22 @Rtpritch @toddshawley @Sadpanda @Mamacoco

I’m so happy you found this space - I wish I had known about We The Village and CRAFT when my loved one was in active addiction! If you’re feeling up to it, please share your story and what brings you to the Village. You’re not alone here. Sometimes just typing it out can be a release of sorts, and there’s no judgement here!

If you’re feeling a little hopeless or stuck, please know that recovery is possible and we’ve seen it! You can read some Stories of Hope here, and maybe find what you need to get through today.

#23

Hi @Eddie - welcome to the Village Community. How are you today?

Relapses are so hard! We often say that relapses happen because something in the recovery process isn’t working for them. Has he looked into anything besides rehab and 12-step programs? I know those are typically the routes people go for treatment, but they’re not the only options. Sometimes just adjusting current lifestyle to include more activity, hobbies, healthy connection with friends and family can make a difference.

It sounds like you really love your husband but his addiction is starting to take a toll on you. That’s totally normal and happens a lot! It’s important to take care of yourself during this time, too. Have you looked into therapy or Al-Anon? How about the CRAFT approach? Let me know what you think of these options, if you have any questions, or just want to chat more about what’s going on with you. You can check out more topics from other partners/spouses dealing with their loved ones’ relapses here.